“Where are we?” I ask McFizzer as we walk through a particularly beautiful meadow of lush green grass splattered with the yellow and white of a million daisies.
“Not sure.”
“Is it just me or do you feel strange – I can’t put my finger on it - just a strange feeling almost as if I am drunk.”
“A feeling of otherness?”
“I am not exactly sure what you mean but oddly enough ‘otherness’ would describe it. So if you have no idea where we are how come you know we have a days walk to get to where we have to be?”
“I feel it.” As I said before, “Open your mind Tavis – this will all become so much easier for you if you can banish your skepticism and relax and let time flow through you.”
“I will try.”
“Good.” McFizzer stops and places his opened hand above his brow to shield his eyes from a golden sun, “Look over there down in the valley just beyond the purple field.”
“I can’t see anything.”
“Keep looking, you will.”
Eventually I see a faint flash of light “I can see it,” I say.
“Good.”
“What is it?”
“It is a flash of light.”
“Duhhh yeah I could have told you that.”
“So why ask me?”
We continue walking toward the light in silence, something about our surroundings demanded peace. Occasionally we pause to take a bearing, but curiously never to rest - for some reason neither of us become weary we just continue walking as if pulled by an invisible force. Eventually we arrive at the field of purple grasses and within a mile of our journeys end.
“It looks like a greenhouse,” I say looking toward the source or the light and then reaching down to pluck a strand of grass from the ground to study the lilac stem and mauve seeds.
“It appears to be a large glass sphere,” answers McFizzer. “Maybe it is a shrine of sorts.”
“Let’s go see,” I say - now leading the way and sucking on the grass. “Hey this grass tastes of licorice.”
Leaving the field of purple grass we enter an area about the size of a tennis court, it is bordered by a low white picket fence and the surface is billiard table flat neatly mown into parallel lines, standing dead centre of this space is a perfect globe of glass about 20 feet in diameter. As we approach we can see that the globe is full of a fluid that is milky white in colour, the liquid is of a density that makes it impossible to see inside beyond the first few inches.
“Interesting.” McFizzer walks up to the globe and pushes his face against it peering in, I stand beside him and place my hand on the surface and I am surprised to find that it is warm almost body temperature.
“I have heard talk of something like this before.” McFizzer announces. “Stand back a little Tavis I want to try something.”
I take one pace back and then I watch as McFizzer sits cross-legged at the base of the globe and positions his hands upon the surface slightly apart. The fluid immediately begins to swirl around – slowly at first starting at the points where McFizzers hands come into the contact with the globe, then the whirlpools increases in size gradually filling the orb causing bubbles to rise as the milky fluid becomes a frothy boiling vortex. As the orb vibrates like a washing machine with a missing leg McFizzer holds steady focusing on the patch of glass directly in front of him, inside the maelstrom continues now with colours flashing through it - gold – red – blue – silver and finally black and then in an instant all is calm.
McFizzer speaks to blackness. “Show yourself, move forward and show yourself.”
Again he summons. “Show yourself, move forward and show yourself.”
Out of the dark viscera looms a face.
Thursday, 28 August 2008
Wednesday, 27 August 2008
Sitting on a cold floor can give you hemorrhoids
I choose not to go into my home but decide instead to take refuge in the garage going through a side door that is always kept unlocked, I enter quickly and close the door behind me sitting on the floor with my back against the door. Waiting and listening I try to calm my rapid breathing fearing that Heldac and Heldor will hear me, I put my hand to my mouth to help silence myself only to be repulsed by the vile stench of the muck that is still clinging to my fingers. I listen for the approach of the twins but all I can hear is the continuing sounds of suburban life, a car passes by stops and doors slam, the distant wah wah of a police car and Mrs Spindler shouting for her children to come in and eat – apparently some of the local residence set their watches by her hollering, that woman has some voice on her.
Eventually my breathing slows and my eyes become more accustomed to the darkness, I can see all the usual paraphernalia that is our (my) garage, the paint tins, the lawnmower, ladders, bits of tools laying on a workbench over by the far wall and the bicycles. My eyes wander over these innocent items each having a different memory attached – one and all both pleasing and painful. I begin to wonder about what Drufus had said, could Lilly still be alive? But how could she be? Three bodies although unrecognizable were recovered from the car and one was that of an adolescent female (Lilly). My survival was apparently due to good fortune and also the fact that I hadn’t used my seatbelt and so was flung clear on impact. The oddest thing is I always use my seatbelt but I must have forgotten that morning.
Something moans and my daydreams evaporate and my senses heighten, it is coming from within the garage, I curse at myself for being such a fool – they must have been in here all the time watching and waiting and now they are ready to pounce.
Another moan.
I try the door but it has jammed I kick and barge at it but it won’t open - so I turn and ready myself for the assault – what are they waiting for? - Spotting an old garden fork over by the workbench I decide to make a grab for it, I launch myself across the garage and grab the folk twisting around so my back is against the bench. Where are they, why can’t I see them? Can they make themselves invisible? I shuffle towards my right and the main door hoping that I can somehow open it from the inside but as I do something grabs my ankle and moans, I raise the fork and aim it toward the source of the sound another moan and my leg is pulled out from under me, I tumble to the ground my head thumps onto the concrete floor my eyes open wide with terror and I can see a very familiar face inches away from mine.
“McFizzer?”
Another moan - I can now see he has a piece of tape across his mouth which I remove.
“McFizzer,” I repeat as I sit up and look down at him lying on the floor like a pile of dirty old washing.
“At your service,” he smiles. “Would you mind removing this?” he holds up his hands that are bound together by electrical cord. “Also there is some around my legs.”
I begin to undo the knots in the cord and then stop. “You are McFizzer, aren’t you?”
“Yes of course I am, who else would you expect me to be,” McFizzer pauses and then continues. “Ahhhhh you must have met Heldac and Heldor.”
“To right, - what are they all about?”
“They are beings of a cryptic nature that have evolved into something far more gruesome than nature ever intended.”
I undo McFizzer bindings and we both slide across the floor and sit resting against the work bench.
“Cryptic? I don’t understand.”
“A cryptic is an animal that can mimic something else, usually for protection or to hide - a camouflage of sorts. Heldac and Heldor are mutant cryptics - a perverse metamorphosis, they can transform themselves into an exact copy of any living creature taking on its mannerism, voice and even its memory, once transformed they are almost impossible to detect from the original.”
“And they can do this at will?”
“Yes, however for them to achieve the transformation they first have to eat the flesh of the person they wish to become. They are truly loathsome beings without conscience.”
“But Heldor became you. - How?”
McFizzer pulls back his shirt sleeve to reveal a wound on his forearm that judging by the teeth marks was a bite. “When I was returning from the shop they jumped me bundled me into here trussed me up and Heldor took a slice out of me,that is how. Please could you pass me my coat it is just over there.”
I pass McFizzer his coat and he takes the bottle of healing potion from a pocket and applies some of the liquid to the bite on his arm we both watch as the flesh slowly begins to knit itself back together magically repairing itself.
“No doubt if all had gone to plan they would have returned to feast on me later.”
Sat on the cool floor in the darkness of the garage I explain to McFizzer about my encounter with Drufus at number 22 about the brutal murder of Mr & Mrs Dennison and about how he still insists that Lilly is alive and is somehow important to him.
McFizzer listens intently and then says, “Drufus may be a cold single minded killer, he may be selfish and driven by his own personal gain but one thing he isn’t is a fool, so if he believes that your sister is still alive then maybe just maybe he is correct.”
Before I have a chance to respond, McFizzer stands puts on his trench coat and walks towards the door. “Come along Tavis, there are questions to be answered.”
“That door is jammed I couldn’t move it an inch.”
“Nonsense,” McFizzer turns the handle and pushes the door open. “Come along Tavis don’t dawdle it is time for action and we have at least a days walk from here.”
I step out of my garage into a field of corn waste high – I look back at where my home should be but it has gone – I am stood in open countryside not a building in any direction just fields and trees and hedgerows.
McFizzer is marching off toward the horizon I run after him following in the track he has forged.
Eventually my breathing slows and my eyes become more accustomed to the darkness, I can see all the usual paraphernalia that is our (my) garage, the paint tins, the lawnmower, ladders, bits of tools laying on a workbench over by the far wall and the bicycles. My eyes wander over these innocent items each having a different memory attached – one and all both pleasing and painful. I begin to wonder about what Drufus had said, could Lilly still be alive? But how could she be? Three bodies although unrecognizable were recovered from the car and one was that of an adolescent female (Lilly). My survival was apparently due to good fortune and also the fact that I hadn’t used my seatbelt and so was flung clear on impact. The oddest thing is I always use my seatbelt but I must have forgotten that morning.
Something moans and my daydreams evaporate and my senses heighten, it is coming from within the garage, I curse at myself for being such a fool – they must have been in here all the time watching and waiting and now they are ready to pounce.
Another moan.
I try the door but it has jammed I kick and barge at it but it won’t open - so I turn and ready myself for the assault – what are they waiting for? - Spotting an old garden fork over by the workbench I decide to make a grab for it, I launch myself across the garage and grab the folk twisting around so my back is against the bench. Where are they, why can’t I see them? Can they make themselves invisible? I shuffle towards my right and the main door hoping that I can somehow open it from the inside but as I do something grabs my ankle and moans, I raise the fork and aim it toward the source of the sound another moan and my leg is pulled out from under me, I tumble to the ground my head thumps onto the concrete floor my eyes open wide with terror and I can see a very familiar face inches away from mine.
“McFizzer?”
Another moan - I can now see he has a piece of tape across his mouth which I remove.
“McFizzer,” I repeat as I sit up and look down at him lying on the floor like a pile of dirty old washing.
“At your service,” he smiles. “Would you mind removing this?” he holds up his hands that are bound together by electrical cord. “Also there is some around my legs.”
I begin to undo the knots in the cord and then stop. “You are McFizzer, aren’t you?”
“Yes of course I am, who else would you expect me to be,” McFizzer pauses and then continues. “Ahhhhh you must have met Heldac and Heldor.”
“To right, - what are they all about?”
“They are beings of a cryptic nature that have evolved into something far more gruesome than nature ever intended.”
I undo McFizzer bindings and we both slide across the floor and sit resting against the work bench.
“Cryptic? I don’t understand.”
“A cryptic is an animal that can mimic something else, usually for protection or to hide - a camouflage of sorts. Heldac and Heldor are mutant cryptics - a perverse metamorphosis, they can transform themselves into an exact copy of any living creature taking on its mannerism, voice and even its memory, once transformed they are almost impossible to detect from the original.”
“And they can do this at will?”
“Yes, however for them to achieve the transformation they first have to eat the flesh of the person they wish to become. They are truly loathsome beings without conscience.”
“But Heldor became you. - How?”
McFizzer pulls back his shirt sleeve to reveal a wound on his forearm that judging by the teeth marks was a bite. “When I was returning from the shop they jumped me bundled me into here trussed me up and Heldor took a slice out of me,that is how. Please could you pass me my coat it is just over there.”
I pass McFizzer his coat and he takes the bottle of healing potion from a pocket and applies some of the liquid to the bite on his arm we both watch as the flesh slowly begins to knit itself back together magically repairing itself.
“No doubt if all had gone to plan they would have returned to feast on me later.”
Sat on the cool floor in the darkness of the garage I explain to McFizzer about my encounter with Drufus at number 22 about the brutal murder of Mr & Mrs Dennison and about how he still insists that Lilly is alive and is somehow important to him.
McFizzer listens intently and then says, “Drufus may be a cold single minded killer, he may be selfish and driven by his own personal gain but one thing he isn’t is a fool, so if he believes that your sister is still alive then maybe just maybe he is correct.”
Before I have a chance to respond, McFizzer stands puts on his trench coat and walks towards the door. “Come along Tavis, there are questions to be answered.”
“That door is jammed I couldn’t move it an inch.”
“Nonsense,” McFizzer turns the handle and pushes the door open. “Come along Tavis don’t dawdle it is time for action and we have at least a days walk from here.”
I step out of my garage into a field of corn waste high – I look back at where my home should be but it has gone – I am stood in open countryside not a building in any direction just fields and trees and hedgerows.
McFizzer is marching off toward the horizon I run after him following in the track he has forged.
Friday, 22 August 2008
Heavenly Twins (Not)
Mr Dennison and McFizzer grab me one under each arm and drag me into the sitting room they dump me on an armchair and step back, Drufus enters the room, the three of them stand before me.
Drufus speaks. “Ok Tavis we all know each other and we all know why we are here.”
“I know why you are here,” I say to Drufus. “But you McFizzer? I thought you were my friend, and as for Mr Dennison well that’s just outright weird…”
McFizzer interrupts “Sometimes Tavis we have to understand where our real loyalties reside and act accordingly no matter how difficult that may be.”
“Quite right McFizzer,” echoes Drufus. “Look Tavis, perhaps you and I didn’t get off to the best of starts, but since we first met I have considered your position and I can appreciate how all this may seem to you. What you have to understand is that we all have a common aim.”
“Oh yeah and does that include me getting a good kicking?”
Drufus continues. “Tavis you have to believe me that when we first met I didn’t understand what I was dealing with –with you. I thought you where just some punk of a kid out to get in my way, but having spoken to McFizzer I now realize that you are just an innocent party in all of this. Let me put this to you – how about you and I work together along with your friend McFizzer to our mutual benefit.”
“And how exactly is that going to work?”
“I am a powerful man.” McFizzer and Mr Dennison both nod in agreement with Drufus as he continues, “I can teach you how to control your destiny, how you can use time to your advantage so that you can have a fulfilling and long life. You will benefit from the knowledge that I have gathered throughout millennia you will become my protegee and who knows in the fullness of time my successor.”
“Ok – that all sounds great,” I say feeling a little inflated by the offer and perhaps just a little to cocky for my own good. “And you want what exactly?”
“Quite simple – the question still stands. Where is your sister Lilly?”
“Drufus I really don’t know how to answer this without getting a face full of knuckle but my answer also still stands – she is dead, she died on that day burnt in a wrecked car, I know this, I was there laying on the ground broken and burnt but alas not dead.”
Drufus turns and walks to the back of the room, I wait for someone to hit me, but McFizzer and Mr Dennison hold steady standing before me motionless.
“This cannot be.” Drufus turns back towards me. “As I said I am a powerful man and I know that this just cannot be.”
The lack of violence on my person has boosted my confidence a little more so I chance another question. “How do you know she is alive and yet have no clue as to where she is?”
“As I said I am a powerful person and these powers help me to feel people that are a important to me, it is like an extra sense and I can sense her – she is somewhere out in the void –hiding from me.”
Perhaps Drufus isn’t a crazy psychopath maybe Lilly is alive – I don’t understand how but I ask another question. “How can I help to find her, I would sacrifice anything to find Lilly, just tell me how.”
Drufus smiles a wry smile at me, pauses, looks to McFizzer and then says, “He is telling the truth.”
“Oh thank you……………..at last you believe me.”
“Yes unfortunately for you I do believe you and now I have absolutely no use for you whatsoever, so lets draw this charade to a conclusion” He looks again at McFizzer and orders, “dispose of him.”
“What." I cry.
“Yes master,” answers McFizzer, asking, “may we have him?”
“Do what you like just get him out of my sight.” Curses Drufus “Permanently.”
Yet again McFizzer and Mr Dennison pick me up and then this time drag me into the kitchen to meet Mrs Dennison who is sat at the kitchen table with her head at an unnatural angle quietly rotting. I ask Mr Dennison how he can allow such an obscene thing to happen to his wife.
“Because I did it to her.”
“You killed your own wife?”
“I killed her,” he chuckles “but she is not my wife,” and then before my eyes Mr Dennison dissolves - disappearing atom by atom and transforming into someone I had met before, someone I had met back in the church in 1874.
A four foot monkey creature now stands before me and introduces himself, “I am Heldac and this is my brother Heldor.” The creature turns toward McFizzer and we both watch as he dissolves down to become an identical being, a perfect twin grinning and gnashing his teeth.
The twins jump onto the kitchen table dislodging Mrs Dennison from her chair so that she falls to the floor, Heldac and Heldor look down at her oozing body and as they do I decide to take the only sensible coarse of action I can think of and throw myself at the back door bursting it open and running out into the garden, I don’t look back as I vault the fence and head home.
Drufus speaks. “Ok Tavis we all know each other and we all know why we are here.”
“I know why you are here,” I say to Drufus. “But you McFizzer? I thought you were my friend, and as for Mr Dennison well that’s just outright weird…”
McFizzer interrupts “Sometimes Tavis we have to understand where our real loyalties reside and act accordingly no matter how difficult that may be.”
“Quite right McFizzer,” echoes Drufus. “Look Tavis, perhaps you and I didn’t get off to the best of starts, but since we first met I have considered your position and I can appreciate how all this may seem to you. What you have to understand is that we all have a common aim.”
“Oh yeah and does that include me getting a good kicking?”
Drufus continues. “Tavis you have to believe me that when we first met I didn’t understand what I was dealing with –with you. I thought you where just some punk of a kid out to get in my way, but having spoken to McFizzer I now realize that you are just an innocent party in all of this. Let me put this to you – how about you and I work together along with your friend McFizzer to our mutual benefit.”
“And how exactly is that going to work?”
“I am a powerful man.” McFizzer and Mr Dennison both nod in agreement with Drufus as he continues, “I can teach you how to control your destiny, how you can use time to your advantage so that you can have a fulfilling and long life. You will benefit from the knowledge that I have gathered throughout millennia you will become my protegee and who knows in the fullness of time my successor.”
“Ok – that all sounds great,” I say feeling a little inflated by the offer and perhaps just a little to cocky for my own good. “And you want what exactly?”
“Quite simple – the question still stands. Where is your sister Lilly?”
“Drufus I really don’t know how to answer this without getting a face full of knuckle but my answer also still stands – she is dead, she died on that day burnt in a wrecked car, I know this, I was there laying on the ground broken and burnt but alas not dead.”
Drufus turns and walks to the back of the room, I wait for someone to hit me, but McFizzer and Mr Dennison hold steady standing before me motionless.
“This cannot be.” Drufus turns back towards me. “As I said I am a powerful man and I know that this just cannot be.”
The lack of violence on my person has boosted my confidence a little more so I chance another question. “How do you know she is alive and yet have no clue as to where she is?”
“As I said I am a powerful person and these powers help me to feel people that are a important to me, it is like an extra sense and I can sense her – she is somewhere out in the void –hiding from me.”
Perhaps Drufus isn’t a crazy psychopath maybe Lilly is alive – I don’t understand how but I ask another question. “How can I help to find her, I would sacrifice anything to find Lilly, just tell me how.”
Drufus smiles a wry smile at me, pauses, looks to McFizzer and then says, “He is telling the truth.”
“Oh thank you……………..at last you believe me.”
“Yes unfortunately for you I do believe you and now I have absolutely no use for you whatsoever, so lets draw this charade to a conclusion” He looks again at McFizzer and orders, “dispose of him.”
“What." I cry.
“Yes master,” answers McFizzer, asking, “may we have him?”
“Do what you like just get him out of my sight.” Curses Drufus “Permanently.”
Yet again McFizzer and Mr Dennison pick me up and then this time drag me into the kitchen to meet Mrs Dennison who is sat at the kitchen table with her head at an unnatural angle quietly rotting. I ask Mr Dennison how he can allow such an obscene thing to happen to his wife.
“Because I did it to her.”
“You killed your own wife?”
“I killed her,” he chuckles “but she is not my wife,” and then before my eyes Mr Dennison dissolves - disappearing atom by atom and transforming into someone I had met before, someone I had met back in the church in 1874.
A four foot monkey creature now stands before me and introduces himself, “I am Heldac and this is my brother Heldor.” The creature turns toward McFizzer and we both watch as he dissolves down to become an identical being, a perfect twin grinning and gnashing his teeth.
The twins jump onto the kitchen table dislodging Mrs Dennison from her chair so that she falls to the floor, Heldac and Heldor look down at her oozing body and as they do I decide to take the only sensible coarse of action I can think of and throw myself at the back door bursting it open and running out into the garden, I don’t look back as I vault the fence and head home.
C - O - L - A ...................colaaaa
The fridge is empty so McFizzer has gone shopping, I am still not so sure that hanging around here waiting for Drufus to turn up is such a great idea, although it has given me a chance to watch all of the coverage of the Olympics in Beijing, and it has lifted my heart to see such fabulous efforts from all of team GB – winners all.
For the most part McFizzer and I have remained in the house and garden keeping as lower profile as possible with just the occasional nod to neighbours and sometimes a quick chat about the weather. Most people still feel uneasy talking to me, finding it awkward to unearth topics of conversation that somehow don’t come round to mentioning my family. I think once all this stuff is over I will look at selling this house and moving into an apartment in the city centre. Fortunately my father was an astute guy and had ample policies in place which have left me in a comfortable position with no real need to worry about money, but I think it would a positive move to up sticks at some point no matter how painful I may initially find it.
“How’s it going?”
“My god McFizzer – don’t sneak up on me like that.” I spin on my chair to see him stood in the doorway smiling at me. “You could give a guy a heart attack.”
“Sorry, I thought you would have heard me come in, I have something to tell you - so come and give me a hand with the shopping and we can chat.”
“Yes dear,” I mock and follow him into the kitchen.
“So what is it?” I ask loading a six pack of cola into the fridge.
“That guy opposite,”
“Mr Dennison.”
“Yes him, he just stopped me on the way in and we got chatting, I told him I was your uncle as we had discussed.”
“Ok – was he cool with that?”
“Yes, he appeared to be. But then he asked if we had seen any strangers wandering around early this morning.”
I froze mid shelf stacking – “do you think it could be Drufus?” Recently I had begun to convince myself that Drufus may have decided to leave me alone and that I was in the clear, but McFizzers comment sent my heart racing as that sick feeling in my stomach returned.
“I don’t know, it could be nothing, it could be quite innocent.”
“Yes I guess so.”
“Anyway we can find out.”
“How?”
“Mr Dennison has a security camera on the front of his house and it records onto one of those hard drive systems so we can go and take a look.”
“I told you he was obsessive,”
“Lucky for us he is.”
“Yes I suppose, - is he ok with us taking a look at the recording?”
“He was a bit stand-off-ish, but he relaxed somewhat when I told him I used to be a police officer.”
“And were you?”
“Nah,”
I laughed, “so when can we go over there?”
“As soon as this is shopping is put away, I asked him to put the kettle on.”
“Oh my god – it will be paper doilies at dawn.”
“What’s a doily?”
“Did you never go for tea at your grandparents when you where a kid?”
“Not yet,“ smiled McFizzer.
For the most part McFizzer and I have remained in the house and garden keeping as lower profile as possible with just the occasional nod to neighbours and sometimes a quick chat about the weather. Most people still feel uneasy talking to me, finding it awkward to unearth topics of conversation that somehow don’t come round to mentioning my family. I think once all this stuff is over I will look at selling this house and moving into an apartment in the city centre. Fortunately my father was an astute guy and had ample policies in place which have left me in a comfortable position with no real need to worry about money, but I think it would a positive move to up sticks at some point no matter how painful I may initially find it.
“How’s it going?”
“My god McFizzer – don’t sneak up on me like that.” I spin on my chair to see him stood in the doorway smiling at me. “You could give a guy a heart attack.”
“Sorry, I thought you would have heard me come in, I have something to tell you - so come and give me a hand with the shopping and we can chat.”
“Yes dear,” I mock and follow him into the kitchen.
“So what is it?” I ask loading a six pack of cola into the fridge.
“That guy opposite,”
“Mr Dennison.”
“Yes him, he just stopped me on the way in and we got chatting, I told him I was your uncle as we had discussed.”
“Ok – was he cool with that?”
“Yes, he appeared to be. But then he asked if we had seen any strangers wandering around early this morning.”
I froze mid shelf stacking – “do you think it could be Drufus?” Recently I had begun to convince myself that Drufus may have decided to leave me alone and that I was in the clear, but McFizzers comment sent my heart racing as that sick feeling in my stomach returned.
“I don’t know, it could be nothing, it could be quite innocent.”
“Yes I guess so.”
“Anyway we can find out.”
“How?”
“Mr Dennison has a security camera on the front of his house and it records onto one of those hard drive systems so we can go and take a look.”
“I told you he was obsessive,”
“Lucky for us he is.”
“Yes I suppose, - is he ok with us taking a look at the recording?”
“He was a bit stand-off-ish, but he relaxed somewhat when I told him I used to be a police officer.”
“And were you?”
“Nah,”
I laughed, “so when can we go over there?”
“As soon as this is shopping is put away, I asked him to put the kettle on.”
“Oh my god – it will be paper doilies at dawn.”
“What’s a doily?”
“Did you never go for tea at your grandparents when you where a kid?”
“Not yet,“ smiled McFizzer.
.
.
“The drains could do with a clean, “ I comment to McFizzer as we walk up the drive of number 22.
Mr Dennison opens the door before we have a chance to knock. “Do come in.” He smiles at me and then winks at McFizzer.
Mr Dennison opens the door before we have a chance to knock. “Do come in.” He smiles at me and then winks at McFizzer.
“What is that smell?” I gag as we enter the house.
“Yes sorry about that ,” says Mr Dennison. “I think there is a blockage, I have called a plumber to come and have a look.”
“Sorry, I can’t stay in here.” I say and turn to walk out but McFizzer pushes me back in and I stumble to the floor onto a pile of soggy blankets. McFizzer closes the door and drops the latch.
“McFizzer what are you doing, can’t you smell this?” I lift my hand from the blankets and look at it, my fingers are covered in a gooey substance that resembles brownish snot. “What is this? What is that stench?”
“It is the smell of death Tavis.” I look to the now open kitchen door and directly into the smiling face of Drufus. “It is the aroma of enzymes eating flesh and rupturing cells releasing the sweet wine of decay. It is considered by some to be a delicacy – please do try some.”
I look to my hand covered in the viscid stinking substance and then to McFizzer who is stood over me. “Try it Tavis, - it is delicious.” He cackles.
Thursday, 21 August 2008
Monday, 18 August 2008
My Top Ten
10 Rules of Time Travel
by Tavis Parks
1 – Always wear dark colours in simple and plain cuts – boots if possible. Black is best because apart from being ubber cool it also translates to most eras. A cape or cloak is a useful and adaptable accessory.
2 - Don’t drink the water unless someone vouches for its quality – try brewed or fermented beverages they are generally a safer drink and in modest quantities can help to reduce stress levels and improve overall demeanor.
3 – In the words of Douglas Adams ‘Don’t panic’ – if you feel the onset of extreme anxiety go to rule 2 and down another.
4 – When in a confrontational situation wherever possible run and hide. Leave the fighting to the warriors. (Warriors may ignore this rule unless they feel in need of a career change).
5 – Always carry a mobile phone or coms. device with WiFi and internet capability. Yes the web does transcend time and space (see Phobos).
6 – Keep contact with natives to a minimum and when interaction is inevitable always choose good looking people. There is no logic to this it just makes for a more pleasant experience and who knows you may pull.
7 – Contrary to popular belief it is possible to die in ones past – i.e. die before being born - so stay safe and away from pointy and shooty things.
8 – Monks and Nuns may be holy types but be wary they can also be very bad news – this is not some kinda anti-Christian vibe just consider this, can you think of a better disguise that is timeless and fits into almost any situation without question?
9 – If you ever see me – please feel free to introduce yourself, I need all the friends I can get.
10 – Do it your way – what do I know?
McFizzer would like me to make it clear that he had no part in the above rules although I can say that it did keep us entertained on a rainy afternoon whilst waiting for that nutter Drufus to turn up on my doorstep.
by Tavis Parks
1 – Always wear dark colours in simple and plain cuts – boots if possible. Black is best because apart from being ubber cool it also translates to most eras. A cape or cloak is a useful and adaptable accessory.
2 - Don’t drink the water unless someone vouches for its quality – try brewed or fermented beverages they are generally a safer drink and in modest quantities can help to reduce stress levels and improve overall demeanor.
3 – In the words of Douglas Adams ‘Don’t panic’ – if you feel the onset of extreme anxiety go to rule 2 and down another.
4 – When in a confrontational situation wherever possible run and hide. Leave the fighting to the warriors. (Warriors may ignore this rule unless they feel in need of a career change).
5 – Always carry a mobile phone or coms. device with WiFi and internet capability. Yes the web does transcend time and space (see Phobos).
6 – Keep contact with natives to a minimum and when interaction is inevitable always choose good looking people. There is no logic to this it just makes for a more pleasant experience and who knows you may pull.
7 – Contrary to popular belief it is possible to die in ones past – i.e. die before being born - so stay safe and away from pointy and shooty things.
8 – Monks and Nuns may be holy types but be wary they can also be very bad news – this is not some kinda anti-Christian vibe just consider this, can you think of a better disguise that is timeless and fits into almost any situation without question?
9 – If you ever see me – please feel free to introduce yourself, I need all the friends I can get.
10 – Do it your way – what do I know?
McFizzer would like me to make it clear that he had no part in the above rules although I can say that it did keep us entertained on a rainy afternoon whilst waiting for that nutter Drufus to turn up on my doorstep.
Perhaps a plan of action is required?
Friday, 15 August 2008
Old Green Fingers Is Back
It is good just to kick back and be able to update my blog, McFizzer is in the kitchen clearing up after breakfast – he will make someone a lovely wife - lol.
It feels like ages since I had the time to sit here at my workstation and just catch up. This is probably the best that I have felt in a long time although the hollow in the pit of my stomach is ever present, that aching void of loss. Pictures of mum and dad sit on the shelf above my head and Lilly holds her rightful place just to the side of my screen pouting back at me with one of those typical expressions she always used when taking a pic of herself. She was such a fun sister – we always just got along – no arguing and constantly there for each other at times of crisis, you know stuff like trouble with boys or covering for each other or just someone to talk to on a rainy afternoon. She was so kind and sweet and I miss her dreadfully.
McFizzer enters my bedroom and breaks my train of thought which is just as well as thinking about Lilly never results in me feeling any better about myself. “It’s a beautiful day Tavis do you fancy a stroll into town? It has been a while since I visited the 21century and it would be nice to take a look around”.
“Do you think it is safe? i ask, "Drufus could be anywhere.”
“Well it is up to you but we have been here nearly five days and I don’t think it is good for you to stay cooped up here brooding and I doubt that even Drufus would try anything in public in broad daylight.” McFizzer looks out of the window across the road towards the garden opposite, “what is it with people and gardening - I just don’t get it?”
I laugh, “That’s Mr Dennison he is a bit of an obsessive with his garden, - actually he is pretty much obsessive about everything.”
“Strange.” McFizzer draws closer to the window and stares at Mr Dennison, “Such an odd pastime I prefer to see everything Au naturel – as nature intended - in the flesh so to speak”.
“Man he is only cutting the grass,” I chuckle and log off………………
It feels like ages since I had the time to sit here at my workstation and just catch up. This is probably the best that I have felt in a long time although the hollow in the pit of my stomach is ever present, that aching void of loss. Pictures of mum and dad sit on the shelf above my head and Lilly holds her rightful place just to the side of my screen pouting back at me with one of those typical expressions she always used when taking a pic of herself. She was such a fun sister – we always just got along – no arguing and constantly there for each other at times of crisis, you know stuff like trouble with boys or covering for each other or just someone to talk to on a rainy afternoon. She was so kind and sweet and I miss her dreadfully.
McFizzer enters my bedroom and breaks my train of thought which is just as well as thinking about Lilly never results in me feeling any better about myself. “It’s a beautiful day Tavis do you fancy a stroll into town? It has been a while since I visited the 21century and it would be nice to take a look around”.
“Do you think it is safe? i ask, "Drufus could be anywhere.”
“Well it is up to you but we have been here nearly five days and I don’t think it is good for you to stay cooped up here brooding and I doubt that even Drufus would try anything in public in broad daylight.” McFizzer looks out of the window across the road towards the garden opposite, “what is it with people and gardening - I just don’t get it?”
I laugh, “That’s Mr Dennison he is a bit of an obsessive with his garden, - actually he is pretty much obsessive about everything.”
“Strange.” McFizzer draws closer to the window and stares at Mr Dennison, “Such an odd pastime I prefer to see everything Au naturel – as nature intended - in the flesh so to speak”.
“Man he is only cutting the grass,” I chuckle and log off………………
Thursday, 14 August 2008
Y Me
I don't wish to sound like a child, especially as I have spent the majority of my life trying to convince everyone that i am an adult but one question nags me constantly. WHY ME?Also.
1 - Why is psycho Drufus on my case?
2 - Why am I dragged across time and space against my will and without any warning?
3 - Why is Drufus so interested in my dead sister? Refusing to comprehend the basic principle of death as a finite situation.
4 - Why are we sat around at my home, in the one place on the planet that Drufus is guaranteed to eventually find me - why don't we just leg it?
I put all of the above to my knowledgeable friend McFizzer and he has given me his considered answers -
Which I now quote -
1 - I don't know.
2 - I don't know.
3 - I don't know.
and finally, 4 - Why play away from home when you can play on your own turf a home match is always advantageous.
All of which leads me to two conclusions. McFizzer is an idiot and also possibly a football supporter.
However he did add one glimmer of hope to his answers as he wandered off into the garden, "perhaps Drufus has reason to believe Lilly is still alive."
I say a glimmer of hope but on further consideration it is obviously bollocks as i did unfortunately witness her appalling demise.
Afternoon Feast
Mr & Mrs Dennison live in a quiet little cul-de-sac at number 22, it is a home they have occupied for 30 years or more, they have two children who have long gone both having done rather well for themselves qualify as professionals from university. Mr & Mrs Dennison are proud of their children’s achievements and proud of the fact that their lives turned out just as they had planned it. They look forward to the children visiting with their families on high days and holidays when they can all sit around the table happily passing the salt and chatting. They are also comfortable with the fact that at their age in life (59 & 56 respectively) they have no mortgage or large borrowings, they have money in the bank and have adequate pension schemes in place to see them through. Mr Dennison will finally retire and take the gold watch in just two months time.
They plan to holiday and visit old friends who have emigrated to Oz, for years now they have worked on an agenda for this, the notice board in the kitchen looks like something akin to a military plan with neatly placed notes of places to see and visit, details of stop overs in Dubai – timetables and references - and of course the obligatory pictures of the Opera House and the Rock.
If you were to choose one word to describe the Dennisons it would be disciplined , you get the feeling they both came out of the womb standing to attention and that is exactly how (when at a given time chosen by themselves) they will meet their maker, in single file and correctly dressed of course.
Ain’t it strange how one knock at the door can destroy a whole lifetime of order?
“Good afternoon,” said a man as Mr Dennison opened his front door.
“Can I help you?” asks Mr Dennison curtly.
“Well if I may just have a few minutes of your time…”
“Are you selling?” Mr Dennison interrupts, “because if you are selling, I am not interested.”
“Just a few minutes,” continues the man.
“No sorry I am a very busy person and have things to do, - go sell elsewhere.”
“But I can assure you this is a very big opportunity you will be missing,” the salesman asserts.
“No sorry – goodbye.” Mr Dennison throws the door shut and swivels on his heels to face back down the hallway in one smooth motion. “More double glazing,” he shouts to his wife in the kitchen.
“I said this will only take a few minutes.”
Mr Dennison freezes mid step and looks back over his shoulder to see that the man is now in the hallway and that he is not alone, he is accompanied by a creature that at first glance appears to be half monkey half human.
The Monkey looks up at his master and asks, “Is he mine?”
“Yes – he is yours.”
With that the creature leaps landing on Mr Dennisons chest knocking him to the ground, it places its open mouth across Dennisons neck bites down and removes a portion of his windpipe with a single action. It then squats on the shaking and gurgling dying man and begins to chew on the gristle and cartilage finally swallowing the warm mass. The bloody mouthed beast then returns to the gaping wound tugging with its teeth at the carotid artery whilst slurping on the deep red juice gushing from its severed end.
The salesman steps over his feasting companion and enters the kitchen, “good afternoon madam, your husband let me in and asked me to wait in here.”
“What do you mean?” asks Mrs Dennison, “and what is all the commotion in the hallway? Where is Peter?”
“Just a little accident,” Replies the sales man as he rubs his beard. “Allow me to introduce myself I am Drufus. Please sit back down.”
“Not until I see my husband, now let me pass, - I heard something in the hall.” Mrs Dennison is insistent and launches herself passed Drufus just as Mr Dennison enters the kitchen.
“Ah I see you have met Mr Drufus,” he says “sit down dear and listen to what he has to say.”
Mrs Dennison looks to her husband, “What was all the rumpus in the hallway?”
“Oh I knocked over that vase on the side table by the door, I was just coming to get a cloth to wipe up with.” Mr Dennison looks to Drufus and smiles, “please take a seat Mr Drufus this won’t take me long.”
Both Drufus and Mrs Dennison take a seat at the kitchen table as Mr Dennison grabs a dish cloth from the work surface then he quickly and efficiently places his left arm around Mrs Dennisons neck whilst forcing the cloth into her mouth with his right hand he then grabs her head and twists. A loud crack and her neck snaps instantly between C3 and C4 severing the spinal cord, her eyes role back and her face becomes a blank page.
“Good work Heldac,” says Drufus as the shape that was Mr Dennison transforms back into the monkey creature.
“Thank you master – may I return to the corpse in the hall I am still hungry?”
Drufus laughs, “Yes go little one, - go gorge yourself.”
They plan to holiday and visit old friends who have emigrated to Oz, for years now they have worked on an agenda for this, the notice board in the kitchen looks like something akin to a military plan with neatly placed notes of places to see and visit, details of stop overs in Dubai – timetables and references - and of course the obligatory pictures of the Opera House and the Rock.
If you were to choose one word to describe the Dennisons it would be disciplined , you get the feeling they both came out of the womb standing to attention and that is exactly how (when at a given time chosen by themselves) they will meet their maker, in single file and correctly dressed of course.
Ain’t it strange how one knock at the door can destroy a whole lifetime of order?
“Good afternoon,” said a man as Mr Dennison opened his front door.
“Can I help you?” asks Mr Dennison curtly.
“Well if I may just have a few minutes of your time…”
“Are you selling?” Mr Dennison interrupts, “because if you are selling, I am not interested.”
“Just a few minutes,” continues the man.
“No sorry I am a very busy person and have things to do, - go sell elsewhere.”
“But I can assure you this is a very big opportunity you will be missing,” the salesman asserts.
“No sorry – goodbye.” Mr Dennison throws the door shut and swivels on his heels to face back down the hallway in one smooth motion. “More double glazing,” he shouts to his wife in the kitchen.
“I said this will only take a few minutes.”
Mr Dennison freezes mid step and looks back over his shoulder to see that the man is now in the hallway and that he is not alone, he is accompanied by a creature that at first glance appears to be half monkey half human.
The Monkey looks up at his master and asks, “Is he mine?”
“Yes – he is yours.”
With that the creature leaps landing on Mr Dennisons chest knocking him to the ground, it places its open mouth across Dennisons neck bites down and removes a portion of his windpipe with a single action. It then squats on the shaking and gurgling dying man and begins to chew on the gristle and cartilage finally swallowing the warm mass. The bloody mouthed beast then returns to the gaping wound tugging with its teeth at the carotid artery whilst slurping on the deep red juice gushing from its severed end.
The salesman steps over his feasting companion and enters the kitchen, “good afternoon madam, your husband let me in and asked me to wait in here.”
“What do you mean?” asks Mrs Dennison, “and what is all the commotion in the hallway? Where is Peter?”
“Just a little accident,” Replies the sales man as he rubs his beard. “Allow me to introduce myself I am Drufus. Please sit back down.”
“Not until I see my husband, now let me pass, - I heard something in the hall.” Mrs Dennison is insistent and launches herself passed Drufus just as Mr Dennison enters the kitchen.
“Ah I see you have met Mr Drufus,” he says “sit down dear and listen to what he has to say.”
Mrs Dennison looks to her husband, “What was all the rumpus in the hallway?”
“Oh I knocked over that vase on the side table by the door, I was just coming to get a cloth to wipe up with.” Mr Dennison looks to Drufus and smiles, “please take a seat Mr Drufus this won’t take me long.”
Both Drufus and Mrs Dennison take a seat at the kitchen table as Mr Dennison grabs a dish cloth from the work surface then he quickly and efficiently places his left arm around Mrs Dennisons neck whilst forcing the cloth into her mouth with his right hand he then grabs her head and twists. A loud crack and her neck snaps instantly between C3 and C4 severing the spinal cord, her eyes role back and her face becomes a blank page.
“Good work Heldac,” says Drufus as the shape that was Mr Dennison transforms back into the monkey creature.
“Thank you master – may I return to the corpse in the hall I am still hungry?”
Drufus laughs, “Yes go little one, - go gorge yourself.”
Wednesday, 13 August 2008
Tactics
You know how sometimes people describe a good sleep as a deep sleep, well I just had the mother of all deep sleeps, so deep that it took me two days to climb out of it, man there is nothing quite so good a your own bed. When awoke I lay there for a while mulling over the events of the preceding days only deciding to move when the smell of cooked bacon wafted up the stairs and into my bedroom.
“How are you feeling?” Asks McFizzer who was busy at the cooker tending to four eggs he was frying.
“Better thanks, a lot better, my ribs are far less tender and the wound on my arms has completely disappeared, my nose is still sore and I can hide my puffy eyes behind some decent sunnies.”
“I rubbed some more of the potion onto the scar on your arm when you were sleeping, it always amazes me how quickly it repairs the damage.”
I then ask McFizzer something I had wanted to ask him since he first explained about the healing elixir. “Would the potion work on this and the scars on my face and legs?” I hold up my left hand with its ugly fused fingers and claw like appearance.
“Sorry Tavis but for the potion to work it has to be administered almost as soon as the injury is received, if left for any length of time it becomes less effective and eventually does not work at all, those injuries are far to old.” McFizzer slaps a plate down upon the breakfast bar, “ now eat.”
I tuck into the fried breakfast and down three tumblers of fresh orange juice. “Any sign of Drufus?” I ask almost casually.
“Not Yet – it will take him a day or so to track you to this house, don’t worry I am ready for him when he does show.”
“You gonna smack him with the frying pan?” I nod to said item glibly
“How are you feeling?” Asks McFizzer who was busy at the cooker tending to four eggs he was frying.
“Better thanks, a lot better, my ribs are far less tender and the wound on my arms has completely disappeared, my nose is still sore and I can hide my puffy eyes behind some decent sunnies.”
“I rubbed some more of the potion onto the scar on your arm when you were sleeping, it always amazes me how quickly it repairs the damage.”
I then ask McFizzer something I had wanted to ask him since he first explained about the healing elixir. “Would the potion work on this and the scars on my face and legs?” I hold up my left hand with its ugly fused fingers and claw like appearance.
“Sorry Tavis but for the potion to work it has to be administered almost as soon as the injury is received, if left for any length of time it becomes less effective and eventually does not work at all, those injuries are far to old.” McFizzer slaps a plate down upon the breakfast bar, “ now eat.”
I tuck into the fried breakfast and down three tumblers of fresh orange juice. “Any sign of Drufus?” I ask almost casually.
“Not Yet – it will take him a day or so to track you to this house, don’t worry I am ready for him when he does show.”
“You gonna smack him with the frying pan?” I nod to said item glibly
Alarmed
It is difficult to put into words how i felt at seeing Drufus sat less than 10 metres away in my home town in my home time but alarmed will do as printable adjective."What is he doing here?" i asked.
"Best guess?" McFizzer takes a gulp of red wine, "i would say he is looking for you."
"Looking for me, how did he know i would be here?"
"Drufus has spies and snitches throughout time and space, a great many people owe him or are owned by him and he has never been slow at calling in a favour. Do try not to worry - i am here to protect you and i doubt that he is aware that he is this close to you, but i would suggest that we leave with the minimum of fuss now."
"I am with you on that." i say and McFizzer helps me to my feet, i smile at the doorman as we leave. "So tell me McFizzer if you are here to protect me what weapons do you carry?"
"None."
"None?"
"Yes none - i usually find something comes to hand at the appropriate juncture."
"Like the candle pole you skewered Shaves with?"
"Exactly."
"Maybe a visit to a gunsmiths would be in order, we pass one on the way to my home."
"No thanks i will hold my faith with providence providing the solution."
"I bet you would change your mind if that moron Drufus was after your neck."
"Best guess?" McFizzer takes a gulp of red wine, "i would say he is looking for you."
"Looking for me, how did he know i would be here?"
"Drufus has spies and snitches throughout time and space, a great many people owe him or are owned by him and he has never been slow at calling in a favour. Do try not to worry - i am here to protect you and i doubt that he is aware that he is this close to you, but i would suggest that we leave with the minimum of fuss now."
"I am with you on that." i say and McFizzer helps me to my feet, i smile at the doorman as we leave. "So tell me McFizzer if you are here to protect me what weapons do you carry?"
"None."
"None?"
"Yes none - i usually find something comes to hand at the appropriate juncture."
"Like the candle pole you skewered Shaves with?"
"Exactly."
"Maybe a visit to a gunsmiths would be in order, we pass one on the way to my home."
"No thanks i will hold my faith with providence providing the solution."
"I bet you would change your mind if that moron Drufus was after your neck."
I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles
Transmission from Aurora; protocol 089321 -phobos - sector 21:
Lucie Bentley, only child of John and Sarah is seated on the floor of her bedroom it is the same bedroom floor she has known for the 16 years of her life, she is surrounded by photos of her family and friends. She likes to take time to look at the pictures of holidays, birthdays and all the good times that have so far joined the dots of her short existence. She prefers the printed format to other media as she loves to hold and feel the glossy surface between her fingers – this somehow helps her to feel closer to the scenes portrayed in these snapshots. Her bedroom contains everything a teenager requires to survive the modern world, TV, DVD player, on demand viewing, music, laptop, clothes, makeup even an en suite bathroom that her parents added by knocking through into a spare bedroom after she relentlessly harangued them for months, she finally clinched the deal by playing the ‘only child card’. Lucie is an expert at this, she understands the guilt some parents of single children have for not providing a sibling and she uses this to unlock the bank of mum and dad whenever she sees fit.
However this talent is of absolutely no use to her now –
Imagine this if you can.
A translucent bubble – the bubble hangs in the darkness of space somewhere beyond this galaxy, (and for I know beyond this time) suspended in a permanent flux trapped and beyond recovery. The sphere silently drifts through space gliding past an ever changing background of stars, planets, supernova and all the other stuff that is the cosmos. To a casual observer (of which there are non) this gossamer bubble would appear to be barely moving but in reality it is hurtling through space and time at a speed beyond comprehension its very being defying all the laws of physics, looping further and further out into the void.
So who created this mystical 8 metre globe and for what purpose?
As yet its origins are unknown – as for its purpose that is simple to answer, it is a prison and the current and only resident is one Lucie Bentley her bedroom and all of its contents.
Lucie stands by the window of her bedroom and looks out to where once there was a view of her garden and beyond that the river Ouse, she stops herself from reflecting on home as she knows this only leads to further melancholy and emptiness.
There is no night or day in space and therefore she has no way of knowing how long she has be cast adrift, her laptop like everything within her room is still functioning as normal and the calendar on igoogle is telling her that the date is 20th April 2089, this makes Lucie the grand old age of 97 but when she looks in the mirror she is still a pale and frightened 16 year old. Time after time Lucie has gone over exactly what did happen on the 28th of July 2007.
At 09-02 she was soundly asleep in bed, she had not set the alarm on her phone as she had no plans for the day and so was annoyed that at 09-03 her alarm had woken her, she stumbled to her desk from her bed to find her phone then realized that the alarm was coming from her laptop, she had as usual left her laptop on due to some late night chatting and now it appeared that she had a new message from someone and this was the source of the alarm. She was being ‘nudged’. Not recognizing the name Tavis Parks she dragged her pointer over the message box and clicked on the conversation area, she typed in the words ‘please just go a way and die’ and punched down on the mouse to send.
A two letter reply came, ‘Ok’
Lucie was just about to send a sarcastic ‘Thanks a lot’, - when her world literally disappeared. Her vision blurred, her ears boomed and she and her bedroom separated from planet earth. Lucie vaguely remembers seeing the earth disappear from view as she lay unable to move on the floor of her room pined down by the shear pressure generated by the enormous acceleration. Planets shooting past in quick succession as she reached the outer limits of our solar system traveling further and further away from home with the sun becoming ever more dim. Just for a terrifying few seconds she got extremely cold and had difficulty breathing but then the bubble appeared to adjust her environment stabilizing the temperature and pressure so that she could again move as if on earth. Since that moment Lucie has gone through all the scenarios of ‘this is a dream’ – ‘has someone drugged me’ – or ‘wow Disney sure got this ride right’, but for all the analysis and self probing she can only reach the one true conclusion – that she and her entire bedroom are indeed trapped in a bubble and are traveling through time and space and the only possible person who may have any clue as to why this is happening is someone called Tavis Parks.
She has tried messaging Tavis Parks but there is no reply (yes she still has connection with the internet, don’t know why - don’t know how – I just know that connections can be very random and inconsistent). She has searched the social networks and found a few entries for Tavis Parks – one in particular that in the attached blog just had one word ‘Help’. She is continuing to monitor this particular individual between stargazing and watching TV (mainly Hollyoaks), who at channel 4 would believe they had such a distant viewer and why the hell if she can watch TV is there no service to her phone on this side of the galaxy? Lucie makes a mental note to e-mail the phone company with a further complaint……… Are they getting the mails she ponders or is it just crap customer service?
Transmission end:
Lucie Bentley, only child of John and Sarah is seated on the floor of her bedroom it is the same bedroom floor she has known for the 16 years of her life, she is surrounded by photos of her family and friends. She likes to take time to look at the pictures of holidays, birthdays and all the good times that have so far joined the dots of her short existence. She prefers the printed format to other media as she loves to hold and feel the glossy surface between her fingers – this somehow helps her to feel closer to the scenes portrayed in these snapshots. Her bedroom contains everything a teenager requires to survive the modern world, TV, DVD player, on demand viewing, music, laptop, clothes, makeup even an en suite bathroom that her parents added by knocking through into a spare bedroom after she relentlessly harangued them for months, she finally clinched the deal by playing the ‘only child card’. Lucie is an expert at this, she understands the guilt some parents of single children have for not providing a sibling and she uses this to unlock the bank of mum and dad whenever she sees fit.
However this talent is of absolutely no use to her now –
Imagine this if you can.
A translucent bubble – the bubble hangs in the darkness of space somewhere beyond this galaxy, (and for I know beyond this time) suspended in a permanent flux trapped and beyond recovery. The sphere silently drifts through space gliding past an ever changing background of stars, planets, supernova and all the other stuff that is the cosmos. To a casual observer (of which there are non) this gossamer bubble would appear to be barely moving but in reality it is hurtling through space and time at a speed beyond comprehension its very being defying all the laws of physics, looping further and further out into the void.
So who created this mystical 8 metre globe and for what purpose?
As yet its origins are unknown – as for its purpose that is simple to answer, it is a prison and the current and only resident is one Lucie Bentley her bedroom and all of its contents.
Lucie stands by the window of her bedroom and looks out to where once there was a view of her garden and beyond that the river Ouse, she stops herself from reflecting on home as she knows this only leads to further melancholy and emptiness.
There is no night or day in space and therefore she has no way of knowing how long she has be cast adrift, her laptop like everything within her room is still functioning as normal and the calendar on igoogle is telling her that the date is 20th April 2089, this makes Lucie the grand old age of 97 but when she looks in the mirror she is still a pale and frightened 16 year old. Time after time Lucie has gone over exactly what did happen on the 28th of July 2007.
At 09-02 she was soundly asleep in bed, she had not set the alarm on her phone as she had no plans for the day and so was annoyed that at 09-03 her alarm had woken her, she stumbled to her desk from her bed to find her phone then realized that the alarm was coming from her laptop, she had as usual left her laptop on due to some late night chatting and now it appeared that she had a new message from someone and this was the source of the alarm. She was being ‘nudged’. Not recognizing the name Tavis Parks she dragged her pointer over the message box and clicked on the conversation area, she typed in the words ‘please just go a way and die’ and punched down on the mouse to send.
A two letter reply came, ‘Ok’
Lucie was just about to send a sarcastic ‘Thanks a lot’, - when her world literally disappeared. Her vision blurred, her ears boomed and she and her bedroom separated from planet earth. Lucie vaguely remembers seeing the earth disappear from view as she lay unable to move on the floor of her room pined down by the shear pressure generated by the enormous acceleration. Planets shooting past in quick succession as she reached the outer limits of our solar system traveling further and further away from home with the sun becoming ever more dim. Just for a terrifying few seconds she got extremely cold and had difficulty breathing but then the bubble appeared to adjust her environment stabilizing the temperature and pressure so that she could again move as if on earth. Since that moment Lucie has gone through all the scenarios of ‘this is a dream’ – ‘has someone drugged me’ – or ‘wow Disney sure got this ride right’, but for all the analysis and self probing she can only reach the one true conclusion – that she and her entire bedroom are indeed trapped in a bubble and are traveling through time and space and the only possible person who may have any clue as to why this is happening is someone called Tavis Parks.
She has tried messaging Tavis Parks but there is no reply (yes she still has connection with the internet, don’t know why - don’t know how – I just know that connections can be very random and inconsistent). She has searched the social networks and found a few entries for Tavis Parks – one in particular that in the attached blog just had one word ‘Help’. She is continuing to monitor this particular individual between stargazing and watching TV (mainly Hollyoaks), who at channel 4 would believe they had such a distant viewer and why the hell if she can watch TV is there no service to her phone on this side of the galaxy? Lucie makes a mental note to e-mail the phone company with a further complaint……… Are they getting the mails she ponders or is it just crap customer service?
Transmission end:
Monday, 11 August 2008
Drinks All Round
The door opened and McFizzer and i stepped over the threshold. At once i was hit by the dramatic change in the level of light and the brightness of colours. McFizzer still supporting me guides me the few paces to a leather couch nodding to an over sized guy dressed in black with an earpiece saying "sorry i think he may have had a few too many - we will just sit here and order some coffee."
"Ok," said the human mountain in black. "But any trouble and your both out."
"Thanks mate." McFizzer lowers me to a brown leather couch and pops a cushion behind my back and asks, "latte or cappuccino?"
"Well espresso if the coffee is any good - double please." Then grabbing McFizzer by the wrist i blurt out, "Where the hell are we? This is not 1874." The gorilla dressed in black who i now recognise as a bouncer shoots me a stare.
"Shhhhh - quieten down a little and read the paper and i'll go and get us some drinks." McFizzer points to a copy of the Observer on the contemporary coffee table in front of me.
I look up to repeat my question to McFizzer but he has disappeared into a crowd of people to my left. I can just see him order the drinks by looking through a cabinet that is made entirely of glass, the cabinet holds bottles of wine and champagne and creates a translucent barrier between the seating area i am in and the massed throng of drinkers that are gathered around a central servery having what i would consider to be a very good time.
McFizzer returns with a large glass of red wine and informs me that they will bring the coffee over in a few minutes, he sits next to me.
"I know this place," I whisper to him not wanting to arouse the interest of gorilla man. "I have been in here before, this is a bar - this is a bar in the 21st century in York."
"The wines good," smirks McFizzer and then adds rather too cockily. "Is it? ahhh here is your coffee." as a petite waitress approaches tray in hand.
"So are you gonna tell me what is going on - or do i have to beg?" I take a sip of the dark hot liquid noting that it has a good cremma before lifting the cup to my lips. "mmm good coffee," i have always had this thing for good coffee it is something i got from my dad - he had a great love of fine dining always extolling the quality and provenance of any particular dish or drink that he enjoyed .
"No need to beg," laughs McFizzer. "It is quite simple - you are back home. As i said temporal travel can happen at anytime without any warning, it would appear that we have fulfilled our purpose in the 1800s, well for now at any rate."
"So why dump us here in a busy bar, why not back to my home where i started from and no offence but why are you still with me?"
"Because of him." McFizzer points to a man sat at a table on an upper level reserved for dining . I turn my head to look to where his indicates, at first it is difficult to see who the person in question is then as i move my head slightly to get a better view through the glass case i can see the face of a man with shoulder length grey hair, hooked nose and full beard, although not dressed as a monk i can see beyond doubt that it is Drufus............
"Ok," said the human mountain in black. "But any trouble and your both out."
"Thanks mate." McFizzer lowers me to a brown leather couch and pops a cushion behind my back and asks, "latte or cappuccino?"
"Well espresso if the coffee is any good - double please." Then grabbing McFizzer by the wrist i blurt out, "Where the hell are we? This is not 1874." The gorilla dressed in black who i now recognise as a bouncer shoots me a stare.
"Shhhhh - quieten down a little and read the paper and i'll go and get us some drinks." McFizzer points to a copy of the Observer on the contemporary coffee table in front of me.
I look up to repeat my question to McFizzer but he has disappeared into a crowd of people to my left. I can just see him order the drinks by looking through a cabinet that is made entirely of glass, the cabinet holds bottles of wine and champagne and creates a translucent barrier between the seating area i am in and the massed throng of drinkers that are gathered around a central servery having what i would consider to be a very good time.
McFizzer returns with a large glass of red wine and informs me that they will bring the coffee over in a few minutes, he sits next to me.
"I know this place," I whisper to him not wanting to arouse the interest of gorilla man. "I have been in here before, this is a bar - this is a bar in the 21st century in York."
"The wines good," smirks McFizzer and then adds rather too cockily. "Is it? ahhh here is your coffee." as a petite waitress approaches tray in hand.
"So are you gonna tell me what is going on - or do i have to beg?" I take a sip of the dark hot liquid noting that it has a good cremma before lifting the cup to my lips. "mmm good coffee," i have always had this thing for good coffee it is something i got from my dad - he had a great love of fine dining always extolling the quality and provenance of any particular dish or drink that he enjoyed .
"No need to beg," laughs McFizzer. "It is quite simple - you are back home. As i said temporal travel can happen at anytime without any warning, it would appear that we have fulfilled our purpose in the 1800s, well for now at any rate."
"So why dump us here in a busy bar, why not back to my home where i started from and no offence but why are you still with me?"
"Because of him." McFizzer points to a man sat at a table on an upper level reserved for dining . I turn my head to look to where his indicates, at first it is difficult to see who the person in question is then as i move my head slightly to get a better view through the glass case i can see the face of a man with shoulder length grey hair, hooked nose and full beard, although not dressed as a monk i can see beyond doubt that it is Drufus............
Mucky Pig Lane
McFizzer and i chatted as we walked through the narrow streets, I am ashamed to say that i took in very little of my surroundings as the pain in my chest was great and even with my friend supporting me under my left arm i was finding it difficult to remain upright.
On that short walk i learnt that McFizzer was from my future (our future although this assumes you are reading this in early part of the 21st century). He was born in 2458 and he is currently 35 years old although he did try to explain to me that his age does sometimes change randomly when he flips to another era. He also told me that to the best of his knowledge he had been a slave to time for over 400 years. Yep don't ask me how someone can have traveled as a warrior slash assassin for 400 years and still remain 35. He didn't seem to fully understand it and he said that after a while you learn to just accept the situation and get on with whatever is thrown at you. I asked if that was the case "are we then immortal?" - "definitely not," was his reply he had seen too many of his friends and fellow travellers perish for this to be true. However," he added, "if you stay out of trouble you may live for what is considered by most to be a very long time."
Not for the first time McFizzer told me to open my mind and just accept my fate and the fact that i will travel thousands of years sometimes between continents in what will seem like the blink of an eye. Accept the fact that when arriving at a new location sometimes i will have a clear understanding of what is required of me and yet other times may be as lost as a child in maze and have to work the puzzle to find the required solution. Understand that we are the puppets of a higher intelligence, open your mind and trust.
"God you mean?" I enquired.
" Lots of names are bandied about, God - The gods - Aurora - Pantheon - The Prime Mover and many more, the truth is Tavis no one knows or certainly no one i have ever met knows.
"We are here." he says, we stop by an unassuming door and McFizzer knocks.
On that short walk i learnt that McFizzer was from my future (our future although this assumes you are reading this in early part of the 21st century). He was born in 2458 and he is currently 35 years old although he did try to explain to me that his age does sometimes change randomly when he flips to another era. He also told me that to the best of his knowledge he had been a slave to time for over 400 years. Yep don't ask me how someone can have traveled as a warrior slash assassin for 400 years and still remain 35. He didn't seem to fully understand it and he said that after a while you learn to just accept the situation and get on with whatever is thrown at you. I asked if that was the case "are we then immortal?" - "definitely not," was his reply he had seen too many of his friends and fellow travellers perish for this to be true. However," he added, "if you stay out of trouble you may live for what is considered by most to be a very long time."
Not for the first time McFizzer told me to open my mind and just accept my fate and the fact that i will travel thousands of years sometimes between continents in what will seem like the blink of an eye. Accept the fact that when arriving at a new location sometimes i will have a clear understanding of what is required of me and yet other times may be as lost as a child in maze and have to work the puzzle to find the required solution. Understand that we are the puppets of a higher intelligence, open your mind and trust.
"God you mean?" I enquired.
" Lots of names are bandied about, God - The gods - Aurora - Pantheon - The Prime Mover and many more, the truth is Tavis no one knows or certainly no one i have ever met knows.
"We are here." he says, we stop by an unassuming door and McFizzer knocks.
Whose role is it anyway?
It took me less than a nanosecond to formulate my next question. "So if i can time travel i can go back to the 28th of July 2007 and save my family?"
McFizzer took half a nanosecond to reply. "No."
"Why not?"
"If only it was that simple Tavis all wrong could be undone like unpicking a badly woven fabric to repair the flaw and then reweaving it making it perfect and beautiful. Nothing in life or death is ever that straightforward."
"Why?" I asked
"It just isn't Tavis." McFizzer stands and walks to the window and pulls back the curtain to reveal a wet and grey dawn. "I don't began to pretend to understand the ins and outs of all this," he continued. "It is what it is," McFizzer draws the curtain again and returns to his chair. "Firstly unless i am very much mistaken you have no means of controlling when or where you time travel, like me you are pulled around the cosmos by an invisible force only returning to your 'home time' when you have completed the task set for you."
"Task?"
"Yes - it has become clear to me over many years of travelling and conversing with other travellers that everytime i make a temporal journey (or flip as some describe it) there is a reason behind it, a reason for the chosen destination."
"So what was your reason for travelling here?" I ask.
"To save you," McFizzer looks me in the eye and smiles. "To save you Tavis. I have learnt from previous encounters that my role is to be a warrior a protector of souls and sometimes an assassin."
"But you have saved me, so why are you still here?"
"I was fully expecting to flip back to my time after i had escorted you to this place and had tended your wounds, but clearly that is not the case so i can only assume that you are still in danger and i am being held here to protect you."
I smile back at McFizzer, and ask. "What is my purpose, why was i dragged back through time to the church and the horrors that lay in wait for me?"
"I do not know," McFizzers smile dissolves and he at once looks sad and pitiful.
"What?" I ask noticing the change of his demeanor.
"I have on odd occasion met with certain souls on my travels that appear to have no other purpose than to be martyred, as if they are the pawns sacrificed for the greater cause. " McFizzer pauses when he sees the look of horror develop across my face. " But you do not have their manner," He brightens again," they are usually wretched and melancholic beings, you have spirit and anyway i would not have been dispatched across 5 centuries just to save the life of a forlorn hope."
"I trust you are right, the thought of meeting another Shaves or Drufus again doesn't fill me with joy."
"Meeting who?" McFizzer demands. "Someone else was with you and Shaves?"
"Yes, someone called Drufus, he was also dressed as a monk but he left before Shaves got medieval on me."
"Well that explains why i am still here and maybe offers a clue as to your duty in all of this. Can you walk we need to visit someone?"
McFizzer took half a nanosecond to reply. "No."
"Why not?"
"If only it was that simple Tavis all wrong could be undone like unpicking a badly woven fabric to repair the flaw and then reweaving it making it perfect and beautiful. Nothing in life or death is ever that straightforward."
"Why?" I asked
"It just isn't Tavis." McFizzer stands and walks to the window and pulls back the curtain to reveal a wet and grey dawn. "I don't began to pretend to understand the ins and outs of all this," he continued. "It is what it is," McFizzer draws the curtain again and returns to his chair. "Firstly unless i am very much mistaken you have no means of controlling when or where you time travel, like me you are pulled around the cosmos by an invisible force only returning to your 'home time' when you have completed the task set for you."
"Task?"
"Yes - it has become clear to me over many years of travelling and conversing with other travellers that everytime i make a temporal journey (or flip as some describe it) there is a reason behind it, a reason for the chosen destination."
"So what was your reason for travelling here?" I ask.
"To save you," McFizzer looks me in the eye and smiles. "To save you Tavis. I have learnt from previous encounters that my role is to be a warrior a protector of souls and sometimes an assassin."
"But you have saved me, so why are you still here?"
"I was fully expecting to flip back to my time after i had escorted you to this place and had tended your wounds, but clearly that is not the case so i can only assume that you are still in danger and i am being held here to protect you."
I smile back at McFizzer, and ask. "What is my purpose, why was i dragged back through time to the church and the horrors that lay in wait for me?"
"I do not know," McFizzers smile dissolves and he at once looks sad and pitiful.
"What?" I ask noticing the change of his demeanor.
"I have on odd occasion met with certain souls on my travels that appear to have no other purpose than to be martyred, as if they are the pawns sacrificed for the greater cause. " McFizzer pauses when he sees the look of horror develop across my face. " But you do not have their manner," He brightens again," they are usually wretched and melancholic beings, you have spirit and anyway i would not have been dispatched across 5 centuries just to save the life of a forlorn hope."
"I trust you are right, the thought of meeting another Shaves or Drufus again doesn't fill me with joy."
"Meeting who?" McFizzer demands. "Someone else was with you and Shaves?"
"Yes, someone called Drufus, he was also dressed as a monk but he left before Shaves got medieval on me."
"Well that explains why i am still here and maybe offers a clue as to your duty in all of this. Can you walk we need to visit someone?"
Friday, 8 August 2008
Mc Fizzer and other stuff
Mc Fizzer pulled his chair closer to the fire and me - sat and said, "Ask away, anything you wish to know and i will answer as candidly as i am able."
I began the Q&A with an easy one (well so i thought). " Where am i?"
"You are in the home of a friend of mine, i use this room whenever i pass this way, it is warm, safe and anonymous so it fits its purpose."
"Ok - but where is this room - this house?"
"In York of course."
"York, great," i exclaim, "lets go back to my place i can get a shower i stink and this dried blood..."
Mc Fizzer holds his hand up to silence me again, "We are in the city of York and the date is 1874. So you are something like 134 years from your home."
My heart sinks, clearly i am again in the hands of another lunatic. I look to the door to determine my escape but it is behind Mc Fizzer and in my current condition i am in no state to undertake some serious body swerving. I will try and humour him. "1874 you say could you prove it to me Mr Mc Fizzer?"
"Just 'McFizzer' is fine and whats to prove Tavis? Take a look around." He gestures to the room with open arms.
I have to concede that the room is rudimentary - stone floor, no electricity, the furniture is basic enough and it smells worse than me. But this is a safe house, he said so, so we could be in some kinda underground bunker. I stare into the fire and not for the first time i think i am going crazy.
McFizzer can plainly see i am struggling with a dilemma and he comes to my assistance. "Perhaps it is best if try and explain the situation but please interrupt if anything i say is unclear. All i ask is that you trust me and open your mind Tavis, if you do you will find that your understanding will become deeper."
McFizzer begins. "We are all travellers, humankind in all its forms has always travelled, whether it be to explore, conquer or for pleasure it is in our nature to travel. We are an inquisitive species and this as always driven us on, further and further out into the corners of our planet and then beyond into space to explore more and more planets. Scientists sit in white coats at electron microscopes peering into new worlds hidden in the minutia of everyday objects and physicists spend whole lives attempting to understand the very being of our existence and the universe. Now Tavis ask yourself this, what if somewhere at sometime in the future someone was so inquisitive and had the mental capability to match they decided to create a new form of discovery - a new way to travel - a way that enabled them to traverse not only space but also time,"
At this point i believe i coughed and muttered something about Doctor Who and Back To The Future - only to be shot a glare from McFizzer that took me aback so i said no more and allowed him to continue.
"Unfortunately, as anyone who has even a basic understanding of science knows, there is no such thing a free lunch, there is always a price to be paid, an equal and opposite reaction, positive and negative, push and pull."
This was all getting a bit abstract for me so i interrupted again. " So you are saying that me, Tavis Parks is a time traveller?"
"Yes."
"Cool."
I began the Q&A with an easy one (well so i thought). " Where am i?"
"You are in the home of a friend of mine, i use this room whenever i pass this way, it is warm, safe and anonymous so it fits its purpose."
"Ok - but where is this room - this house?"
"In York of course."
"York, great," i exclaim, "lets go back to my place i can get a shower i stink and this dried blood..."
Mc Fizzer holds his hand up to silence me again, "We are in the city of York and the date is 1874. So you are something like 134 years from your home."
My heart sinks, clearly i am again in the hands of another lunatic. I look to the door to determine my escape but it is behind Mc Fizzer and in my current condition i am in no state to undertake some serious body swerving. I will try and humour him. "1874 you say could you prove it to me Mr Mc Fizzer?"
"Just 'McFizzer' is fine and whats to prove Tavis? Take a look around." He gestures to the room with open arms.
I have to concede that the room is rudimentary - stone floor, no electricity, the furniture is basic enough and it smells worse than me. But this is a safe house, he said so, so we could be in some kinda underground bunker. I stare into the fire and not for the first time i think i am going crazy.
McFizzer can plainly see i am struggling with a dilemma and he comes to my assistance. "Perhaps it is best if try and explain the situation but please interrupt if anything i say is unclear. All i ask is that you trust me and open your mind Tavis, if you do you will find that your understanding will become deeper."
McFizzer begins. "We are all travellers, humankind in all its forms has always travelled, whether it be to explore, conquer or for pleasure it is in our nature to travel. We are an inquisitive species and this as always driven us on, further and further out into the corners of our planet and then beyond into space to explore more and more planets. Scientists sit in white coats at electron microscopes peering into new worlds hidden in the minutia of everyday objects and physicists spend whole lives attempting to understand the very being of our existence and the universe. Now Tavis ask yourself this, what if somewhere at sometime in the future someone was so inquisitive and had the mental capability to match they decided to create a new form of discovery - a new way to travel - a way that enabled them to traverse not only space but also time,"
At this point i believe i coughed and muttered something about Doctor Who and Back To The Future - only to be shot a glare from McFizzer that took me aback so i said no more and allowed him to continue.
"Unfortunately, as anyone who has even a basic understanding of science knows, there is no such thing a free lunch, there is always a price to be paid, an equal and opposite reaction, positive and negative, push and pull."
This was all getting a bit abstract for me so i interrupted again. " So you are saying that me, Tavis Parks is a time traveller?"
"Yes."
"Cool."
Thursday, 7 August 2008
First Flip (continued more)
Mc Fizzer took me away from the church and guided me down the narrow streets to a safe house he knew, i remember little of staggering there only pain and the sound of the minster as it chimed 5. He lay me upon a low cot by a fire and i fell into a deep sleep. It was 4 days before i was well enough to sit up unaided and all the time i slept and dreamed terrible nightmares McFizzer sat at the foot of my bed in a wooden chair with his booted feet resting on a table.
"You look somewhat better then when we first met Tavis and you have some colour back in your cheeks," he said as i raised myself upon my elbows and stared along the bed to where he sat like a faithful old Labrador.
"Yes thank you, i feel much better," i said wincing as a sharp stab of pain hit me from my chest.
"Best not to move to suddenly, i fear you have broken a rib or two," he said. "But the wound on your arm is mending well, i used a potion that was shown to me by another traveller some time ago, it has an almost magical effect on deep cuts, his name is Cornelius - do you know him?"
"Sorry no - should i?," i added.
"I suppose not and you are new to this business, are you hungry?"
I was starving i couldn't remember the last time i had eaten, "yes i am."
"Excellent that is an encouraging sign my friend, see if you can get yourself over to the table whilst i dish out some of this delicious stew." Mc Fizzer begins to ladle out the contents of a blackened pot that is suspended above the fire. He passes me a bowl of steaming broth and returns to get himself a bowl full. "Bread," he says as he sits next me at the table and slides a plate of greyish looking stuff that has a green tint to the crust, "It is really rather good if you remove the mold."
The flavour of the stew was unfamiliar - stronger than i had expected and there were some rather dubious looking items lurking below the oily surface but i ate it all and relished in mopping up the remaining drops with hunks of rotten bread.
"Good - very good," Mc Fizzer smiled at me. "You have a healthy appetite, we will make a warrior of you yet."
I laughed although i am not sure why it just felt like the right thing to do, there was something about Mc Fizzer that put me at ease, something i had not felt for a long time. i felt good - relaxed - comfortable and then i laughed a little to much and my broken ribs reminded me of the reality of my situation. "Mc Fizzer have you any idea why that lunatic Shades was torturing me, and why the stupid questions and why the hell am i here and where the hell is here and wha........."
McFizzer held up his hand to silence me, "Go sit over there boy back on your bed and get yourself comfy and i will try my utmost to answer as many questions as you have."
"You look somewhat better then when we first met Tavis and you have some colour back in your cheeks," he said as i raised myself upon my elbows and stared along the bed to where he sat like a faithful old Labrador.
"Yes thank you, i feel much better," i said wincing as a sharp stab of pain hit me from my chest.
"Best not to move to suddenly, i fear you have broken a rib or two," he said. "But the wound on your arm is mending well, i used a potion that was shown to me by another traveller some time ago, it has an almost magical effect on deep cuts, his name is Cornelius - do you know him?"
"Sorry no - should i?," i added.
"I suppose not and you are new to this business, are you hungry?"
I was starving i couldn't remember the last time i had eaten, "yes i am."
"Excellent that is an encouraging sign my friend, see if you can get yourself over to the table whilst i dish out some of this delicious stew." Mc Fizzer begins to ladle out the contents of a blackened pot that is suspended above the fire. He passes me a bowl of steaming broth and returns to get himself a bowl full. "Bread," he says as he sits next me at the table and slides a plate of greyish looking stuff that has a green tint to the crust, "It is really rather good if you remove the mold."
The flavour of the stew was unfamiliar - stronger than i had expected and there were some rather dubious looking items lurking below the oily surface but i ate it all and relished in mopping up the remaining drops with hunks of rotten bread.
"Good - very good," Mc Fizzer smiled at me. "You have a healthy appetite, we will make a warrior of you yet."
I laughed although i am not sure why it just felt like the right thing to do, there was something about Mc Fizzer that put me at ease, something i had not felt for a long time. i felt good - relaxed - comfortable and then i laughed a little to much and my broken ribs reminded me of the reality of my situation. "Mc Fizzer have you any idea why that lunatic Shades was torturing me, and why the stupid questions and why the hell am i here and where the hell is here and wha........."
McFizzer held up his hand to silence me, "Go sit over there boy back on your bed and get yourself comfy and i will try my utmost to answer as many questions as you have."
First Flip (continued)
I have no way of telling how long i was unconscious, but i don't think it could have been longer than an hour - i could see through the arched glass window on the rear wall that it was still dark outside and the candles in the aisle had burnt down some, a few were spent with smoldering remnants of wick and wax. Hopeless is how i felt at that exact time hurting and hopeless with the taste of dried blood in my mouth and throat, my breathing was shallow and forced i think i have several cracked ribs and my broken bloody nose makes it difficult to breath. I look up and sat on the steps that leads up into the pulpit is Shaves he is chatting to the imp like creature who then hands Shaves a small silver case about the size of a book, the imp then scampers off back down the aisle sometimes running on its rear legs but every few steps using the knuckles of it hands to aid its balance.
"Ah Tavis, awake again - good." Says Shaves he stands and walks toward me.
"Shaves why are you doing this to me?" i ask fearful that his response will be another blow to my face or body, i cringe and tense my body as he approaches. Shaves says nothing and there is no assault - so i relax a little and continue. "Why are you holding me captive and why the questions about my family there is no need for this you could find everything you need to know about their deaths just by searching for details of the accident on the internet."
Shaves has dragged a small table across and has set the silver case upon it, he is fingering the intricate scroll work that is delicately engraved into its surface. "There is no internet here boy."
"Well no problem we can go back to my place and use mine," i suggest helpfully.
He laughs - "there is no internet in the 17th century..... enough chat - time to get to the matter in hand." Shaves releases the catch to his case and flips it open so that we can both see the contents.
"So Tavis how do you want to play this, you can give me the answer i require or you can become more acquainted with my little friends in here," he allows his fingers to drop upon a scalpel that is held alongside several similar instruments within the open case.
"No," i scream as i fight against the ropes that bind me, i begin to sob.
Shaves is now holding the scalpel above my forearm. "Let me for the purpose of clarity ask you one more time. Where is your sister Lilly?"
I am frozen i cannot answer, how can i - i know that what i say is true - but the truth can only result in more pain. My eyes are fixed upon the glinting blade i struggle to think of something to say - but i can only scream as Shaves skillfully glides the cold steel across my arm removing a perfect curl of skin six inches in length. I watch in horror as the bloody pulp of flesh that is revealed wells up and blood gushes from the wound.
"Nothing to say?" Shaves asks then turns his attentions back to my the exposed muscle - he prods it with the tip of the blade, this sends a shock through my whole body so electric that i release a scream so basic so primeval that it appears to shock even Shaves.
I whimper, "believe me Shaves there is nothing i can tell you that you don't already know - i wish Lilly was alive, i wish i could tell you this, ooh how i wish i could tell you this..." i am now bawling like a baby.
Shaves backs away a little. "It once took me two days to get someone to tell me what i wanted to know, i had to shave the skin from all of his limbs and other more intimate parts but interestingly it was when i plucked his left eyeball from its socket with the hook that he cracked. i don't have much time to waste on you so lets go straight for the eyes." I watched in horror as Shaves replaced the scalpel in its place amongst the tools of his trade and then selected a length of steel that at one end had a wooden grip and the other a barbed hook.
"Oh god no - please no."
"Left or right? Shaves smirks waving the implement in front of my face and then pauses to squint and study my eyeballs. "Interesting," he says, he raises a grubby hand, his gnarled fingers extend toward my face.
I screw my eyes shut but i feel his fingers prise my eyelids apart and i can again see his ugly evil face sweating and sneering at me.
"The right one it is then.." and he pushed the hook toward my eyeball.
It was then that a look of surprise appeared upon his face and just as the barb was about to enter my pupil he backed away.
"Mc Fizzer at your service." said a voice from behind Shaves. Then Shaves crumbled to the ground revealing a stranger who was holding one end of a candle pole attached to which at the other end was Shaves. "It was the first thing i could think of to run him through with - i have no weapon, so i stuck him like a pig with this." Mc Fizzer released the candle pole and Shaves rolled over onto his face dead.
"Ah Tavis, awake again - good." Says Shaves he stands and walks toward me.
"Shaves why are you doing this to me?" i ask fearful that his response will be another blow to my face or body, i cringe and tense my body as he approaches. Shaves says nothing and there is no assault - so i relax a little and continue. "Why are you holding me captive and why the questions about my family there is no need for this you could find everything you need to know about their deaths just by searching for details of the accident on the internet."
Shaves has dragged a small table across and has set the silver case upon it, he is fingering the intricate scroll work that is delicately engraved into its surface. "There is no internet here boy."
"Well no problem we can go back to my place and use mine," i suggest helpfully.
He laughs - "there is no internet in the 17th century..... enough chat - time to get to the matter in hand." Shaves releases the catch to his case and flips it open so that we can both see the contents.
"So Tavis how do you want to play this, you can give me the answer i require or you can become more acquainted with my little friends in here," he allows his fingers to drop upon a scalpel that is held alongside several similar instruments within the open case.
"No," i scream as i fight against the ropes that bind me, i begin to sob.
Shaves is now holding the scalpel above my forearm. "Let me for the purpose of clarity ask you one more time. Where is your sister Lilly?"
I am frozen i cannot answer, how can i - i know that what i say is true - but the truth can only result in more pain. My eyes are fixed upon the glinting blade i struggle to think of something to say - but i can only scream as Shaves skillfully glides the cold steel across my arm removing a perfect curl of skin six inches in length. I watch in horror as the bloody pulp of flesh that is revealed wells up and blood gushes from the wound.
"Nothing to say?" Shaves asks then turns his attentions back to my the exposed muscle - he prods it with the tip of the blade, this sends a shock through my whole body so electric that i release a scream so basic so primeval that it appears to shock even Shaves.
I whimper, "believe me Shaves there is nothing i can tell you that you don't already know - i wish Lilly was alive, i wish i could tell you this, ooh how i wish i could tell you this..." i am now bawling like a baby.
Shaves backs away a little. "It once took me two days to get someone to tell me what i wanted to know, i had to shave the skin from all of his limbs and other more intimate parts but interestingly it was when i plucked his left eyeball from its socket with the hook that he cracked. i don't have much time to waste on you so lets go straight for the eyes." I watched in horror as Shaves replaced the scalpel in its place amongst the tools of his trade and then selected a length of steel that at one end had a wooden grip and the other a barbed hook.
"Oh god no - please no."
"Left or right? Shaves smirks waving the implement in front of my face and then pauses to squint and study my eyeballs. "Interesting," he says, he raises a grubby hand, his gnarled fingers extend toward my face.
I screw my eyes shut but i feel his fingers prise my eyelids apart and i can again see his ugly evil face sweating and sneering at me.
"The right one it is then.." and he pushed the hook toward my eyeball.
It was then that a look of surprise appeared upon his face and just as the barb was about to enter my pupil he backed away.
"Mc Fizzer at your service." said a voice from behind Shaves. Then Shaves crumbled to the ground revealing a stranger who was holding one end of a candle pole attached to which at the other end was Shaves. "It was the first thing i could think of to run him through with - i have no weapon, so i stuck him like a pig with this." Mc Fizzer released the candle pole and Shaves rolled over onto his face dead.
Wednesday, 6 August 2008
First Flip
My head is throbbing, it feels like someone has taken a screwdriver and is slowly and steadily pushing it into my temple. My eyes are closed tight and it takes me a lot of effort just to open them, when i do i can see that i am sat in a church on a stout wooden chair facing towards the rear looking down the aisle. The church is lit by candles mounted on tall metal spikes that are attached to the end of the box pews, a good way down the aisle on the left is the pulpit that rises above the congregational seating carved and ornate with religious symbolism.
It is only now i realise that my hands are tied to the solid oak arms of the chair with coarse wiry rope and my legs are shackled. I try to move my head to see what is restraining my feet but i cant it is held firmly to the high back with a taut steel band around my forehead. I can hear voices to my right and by straining my eyes i can just make out the silhouette of a door that is ajar and lit from within. Two voices are audible but it is impossible to understand what they are saying however the odd word does carry to me.
"He's awake" a voice shouts from my left, startled i twist to see who spoke but the restraints hold me and i feel the metal band bite into the skin on my forehead, "he is awake" reaffirms the voice as its owner scuttles past me towards the door and out of vision. The voices beyond the door become more animated and what sounds like an order is barked out followed by more scuttling and what appears to be a monkey like creature rushes past me and down the aisle towards the exit " i will be back as quickly as my feet will carry me master" says the imp before it disappears into the night.
"Make sure you are little one" The voices from beyond the door are now clear and i can hear the shuffling of feet towards me.
"Good evening Tavis" i shudder as my name is mentioned.
"Who are you?" - i ask, the footsteps stop and i am aware that someone is now standing by my side.
"Who are you? - Where am i? - let me go" and then i add "please" rather lamely.
"So many questions Travis, unfortunately the purpose of this meeting is not for me to answer your questions it is for me to use my skills to ask questions of you," the voice moves around and steps into my vision.
"But just as a mater of formality i will inform you that my name is Shaves. Although not many live long enough to use it." - Shaves stands before me in a dark cloak covering his entire body, it reaches to the ground and covers his head with a hood. Deep within the hood i can just make out a twisted and bearded face. a hand appears from the folds of material and adjusts a rope belt that pulls the cloak tight around his portly mid drift.
"Be silent Shaves," says a second voice, a kinder and softer voice and as he steps into view i can see he is dressed in the same way as Shaves except he has pulled back the hood of his garment to reveal what i considered to be a kind face. He smiles at me as he runs a hand through his grey shoulder length hair and then rubs his bearded chin. "I am Drufus - and i need to ask you a few questions Tavis."
"Yes by all means ask away," i say as helpfully as possible, " but could you please release me from this chair?"
"Just a few questions first and then we will see what we can do."
"Ok."
"Ok indeed - shall we begin?" Drufus scratches and picks at his hooked nose and smiles at me again. " My first question for you is very very simple, just to get the ball rolling. - Where is your father?"
"Dead," i say. "he is dead."
"Very good, next question where is your mother?"
"Dead also," i answer, "look is this really necessary?"
"shhhhhhhhh Tavis you are doing so well just one more question then i will be done."
"Oh ok - no problem," I feel my heart lift slightly at the prospect of being released.
"Last question for you then," Drufus stops picking his nose and wipes his finger on his cloak. "Where is you sister Lilly?"
"She is dead, they all died together in an accident." i resisted the urge to call him a sicko for this whole charade and thought better to wait until i am free and walking out of the door.
"Wrong answer...." Drufus spat in my face. "That is the wrong answer boy." he then punched me deep in the stomach..
I reeled from the blow unable to move and unable to breath - i could feel bile rising in my throat as i choked and coughed gasping for air.
"Wrong answer," Drufus repeated as he backed away. "Don't treat me like a fool boy."
Shaves who up to that point had been quiet started to chuckle and then said " it looks like you will be needing my help."
"Not yet Shaves, i will give the boy one more chance." said Drufus as he steps back towards me. and fixes me with a stare or pure ice. " where is your sister?"
"She is dead, she died - burnt alive in our car i saw it with my own yes," i blurted this out half scream half cry for help.
"Wrong again Tavis."
I closed my eyes and waited for the punch to land, i was not to be disappointed - this time he hit me square on the end of my nose, i heard it crack and then i could feel and taste blood as it filled my mouth and streamed down my chin. I coughed out blood in a spray that coated Drufus. As i opened my eyes he looked at me and then at Shaves who was now in my face laughing. Drufus wiped the blood from himself on my t-shirt and walked away. "Deal with him Shaves - get me my answer."
Shaves looked down at me smiled and punched me again.
I passed out.........................
It is only now i realise that my hands are tied to the solid oak arms of the chair with coarse wiry rope and my legs are shackled. I try to move my head to see what is restraining my feet but i cant it is held firmly to the high back with a taut steel band around my forehead. I can hear voices to my right and by straining my eyes i can just make out the silhouette of a door that is ajar and lit from within. Two voices are audible but it is impossible to understand what they are saying however the odd word does carry to me.
"He's awake" a voice shouts from my left, startled i twist to see who spoke but the restraints hold me and i feel the metal band bite into the skin on my forehead, "he is awake" reaffirms the voice as its owner scuttles past me towards the door and out of vision. The voices beyond the door become more animated and what sounds like an order is barked out followed by more scuttling and what appears to be a monkey like creature rushes past me and down the aisle towards the exit " i will be back as quickly as my feet will carry me master" says the imp before it disappears into the night.
"Make sure you are little one" The voices from beyond the door are now clear and i can hear the shuffling of feet towards me.
"Good evening Tavis" i shudder as my name is mentioned.
"Who are you?" - i ask, the footsteps stop and i am aware that someone is now standing by my side.
"Who are you? - Where am i? - let me go" and then i add "please" rather lamely.
"So many questions Travis, unfortunately the purpose of this meeting is not for me to answer your questions it is for me to use my skills to ask questions of you," the voice moves around and steps into my vision.
"But just as a mater of formality i will inform you that my name is Shaves. Although not many live long enough to use it." - Shaves stands before me in a dark cloak covering his entire body, it reaches to the ground and covers his head with a hood. Deep within the hood i can just make out a twisted and bearded face. a hand appears from the folds of material and adjusts a rope belt that pulls the cloak tight around his portly mid drift.
"Be silent Shaves," says a second voice, a kinder and softer voice and as he steps into view i can see he is dressed in the same way as Shaves except he has pulled back the hood of his garment to reveal what i considered to be a kind face. He smiles at me as he runs a hand through his grey shoulder length hair and then rubs his bearded chin. "I am Drufus - and i need to ask you a few questions Tavis."
"Yes by all means ask away," i say as helpfully as possible, " but could you please release me from this chair?"
"Just a few questions first and then we will see what we can do."
"Ok."
"Ok indeed - shall we begin?" Drufus scratches and picks at his hooked nose and smiles at me again. " My first question for you is very very simple, just to get the ball rolling. - Where is your father?"
"Dead," i say. "he is dead."
"Very good, next question where is your mother?"
"Dead also," i answer, "look is this really necessary?"
"shhhhhhhhh Tavis you are doing so well just one more question then i will be done."
"Oh ok - no problem," I feel my heart lift slightly at the prospect of being released.
"Last question for you then," Drufus stops picking his nose and wipes his finger on his cloak. "Where is you sister Lilly?"
"She is dead, they all died together in an accident." i resisted the urge to call him a sicko for this whole charade and thought better to wait until i am free and walking out of the door.
"Wrong answer...." Drufus spat in my face. "That is the wrong answer boy." he then punched me deep in the stomach..
I reeled from the blow unable to move and unable to breath - i could feel bile rising in my throat as i choked and coughed gasping for air.
"Wrong answer," Drufus repeated as he backed away. "Don't treat me like a fool boy."
Shaves who up to that point had been quiet started to chuckle and then said " it looks like you will be needing my help."
"Not yet Shaves, i will give the boy one more chance." said Drufus as he steps back towards me. and fixes me with a stare or pure ice. " where is your sister?"
"She is dead, she died - burnt alive in our car i saw it with my own yes," i blurted this out half scream half cry for help.
"Wrong again Tavis."
I closed my eyes and waited for the punch to land, i was not to be disappointed - this time he hit me square on the end of my nose, i heard it crack and then i could feel and taste blood as it filled my mouth and streamed down my chin. I coughed out blood in a spray that coated Drufus. As i opened my eyes he looked at me and then at Shaves who was now in my face laughing. Drufus wiped the blood from himself on my t-shirt and walked away. "Deal with him Shaves - get me my answer."
Shaves looked down at me smiled and punched me again.
I passed out.........................
Tuesday, 5 August 2008
A place i like to go
I have had a message asking what I look like? - The answer is i have changed a lot since July 2007, I was once 15 stone of rugby playing handsomeness - athletic - bronzed - 6'2" tall with a Boris Johnson mop of golden hair.
Now i am much lighter touching just 12 stone - scrawny, my complexion is pale and drawn the left side of my face is scared from the burns which has the effect of curling my lip slightly upwards giving me a permanent sneer -and my head is no longer a perfect oval due to the heavy impact it took in the accident causing my skull to shatter - my hair is lifeless greying and thinned dreadfully - i walk with a limp due to the severe fractures to my left leg and this also conspires to give me a modest stoop - due to severe burning the fingers on my left hand have become fused together to form a talon like monstrosity or a limb ending. I realise that this all makes me sound like some kind of freak from Dickens novel but so be it this is what i see when i look in the mirror (something i try to avoid).......
I attempt to disguise my looks with a baseball cap - sunnies and oversize clothing and for the most part i escape the notice of many and only on occasion do i scare animals and children......But hey i am alive....
OK - lets see if i can get everything into some kind of order - on just looking at my blog entries it appears that my last post was less than an hour ago, which may be true for time constrained beings but for me over 12 months have past since that posting and in that year so much has happened and become clear. I have met with other more experienced travelers and they have been able to help me fill in some of the blanks and piece together what at first appeared to be random flips - ah yes let me define 'flip' ..
Flip or 'A flip' is the term that is generally used to describe any form of travel between time and location. For me a flip can happen at any time and i have absolutely no control of when or where these flips will occur and initially they appeared to be random (although i think i can sense a logic appearing to my journeys across the void).
Get me eh! flips and voids not too long ago my main concern was getting my hair to look cool...
Let me ask you a question - do you think it is possible to avoid death? not cheat it but actually avoid death. Let me try and explain a little more, i would say cheating death is like if you have a heart attack and you are on the brink of death but through luck and the heroic efforts of a team of doctors, paramedics and nurses you survive. Avoiding death is when your time is defiantly up - no question - you are dead meat and the reaper is at your back - but just as he is about to place that rotting hand upon your shoulder you find another way to continue living or in my case someone else finds a way to keep me from my grave. "Fantastic can i have a friend like that so that i too can be immortal" i hear you say.. Well maybe you can i honestly don't know the answer to that one but let me tell you this if you are ever in the position to accept such a deal please for the love of god decline, say no and go to meet your maker with grace and humility. Because as with everything in life(and death) there is a price to pay - a bargain to be struck and let me tell you the price i have paid is way to high.
I remember as our car tumbled off the road and settled on the grass verge something made a subconscious connection with me and at that instant a pact was formed and instead of me burning alive alongside my trapped family i was grabbed by an invisible claw and hauled by the scruff of my neck to safety.
Flip or 'A flip' is the term that is generally used to describe any form of travel between time and location. For me a flip can happen at any time and i have absolutely no control of when or where these flips will occur and initially they appeared to be random (although i think i can sense a logic appearing to my journeys across the void).
Get me eh! flips and voids not too long ago my main concern was getting my hair to look cool...
Let me ask you a question - do you think it is possible to avoid death? not cheat it but actually avoid death. Let me try and explain a little more, i would say cheating death is like if you have a heart attack and you are on the brink of death but through luck and the heroic efforts of a team of doctors, paramedics and nurses you survive. Avoiding death is when your time is defiantly up - no question - you are dead meat and the reaper is at your back - but just as he is about to place that rotting hand upon your shoulder you find another way to continue living or in my case someone else finds a way to keep me from my grave. "Fantastic can i have a friend like that so that i too can be immortal" i hear you say.. Well maybe you can i honestly don't know the answer to that one but let me tell you this if you are ever in the position to accept such a deal please for the love of god decline, say no and go to meet your maker with grace and humility. Because as with everything in life(and death) there is a price to pay - a bargain to be struck and let me tell you the price i have paid is way to high.
I remember as our car tumbled off the road and settled on the grass verge something made a subconscious connection with me and at that instant a pact was formed and instead of me burning alive alongside my trapped family i was grabbed by an invisible claw and hauled by the scruff of my neck to safety.
Quick note
Just to let you know i have been unwell for the last few days but feeling better now - i endeavour to pick up where i left off last week.......
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